the (my) Gray Space — OBE’s

“Where are these hyperspaces, these other dimensions? All sources agree: They are within us, even though they seem to be without; and at the same time they are without, even though we arrive there by going within.”

~from Other Worlds, Other Universes; Playing the Reality Game

Every first Friday of the month, every Sunday, and every religious holiday known to mankind, we had to go to church. On the first Friday’s of the month, and sometimes other weekdays throughout the year, our school spent a few hours in church. I dreaded these days, for many reasons. First of all we had to practice kneeling a lot, and every time I would kneel for longer than a minute, I recall feeling weak enough to faint and I watched myself from above slump over. My body did not like the feeling of kneeling, and my knees always seemed to ache from the pressure of holding up my precious body up. Then there was the burning of incense, it was so overwhelming to my senses I developed a sense of suffocation creeping through my body. Third, I could hear every voice, ever thought, feel every particle of energy in the church; I absolutely struggled with maintaining my composure and hid the feeling of wanting to jump out of my skin. As a child in this world I felt there was no escape; days, months, years would go by before I was able to find a way to build up a protective resistance to entering through the monstrous church doors – those doors that echoed out a call of anger and shook the stained glass windows when closed behind me. Complete silence felt the worse during the days we had to go to church for confession. The spirits who found solace in the church and the many spirits that left an energetic imprint within the pews all lined up to greet the energy of humans who entered looking for rest and comfort within the religious walls towering over all of us. I found out quickly that these earthbound spirits (ghosts) found enjoyment in trying to speak with me when everyone else was silent. When there was noise within the church, when the church was filled with warm alive bodies singing that the echoing of the chatter and the loudness of the priest’s voice bounced off the church walls and vibrated at a horrible frequency through my ears. I would try to shut off my hearing and naturally find myself lifting my spirit out of my body to a gray space between waking and death, worlds, universes within realms and dimensions before and within the afterlife. And in this state I could be found as if I was sitting in silence — happily shutting out both the spirits of waking and the souls of the deceased – here I existed peacefully for a moment or two. Until that one moment when I was yanked back down by a tap of my shoulder or a stern look from an adult (teacher) calling my name, for what they just assumed as me not paying attention…….if they had looked a little closer actually leaned in and looked beyond the walls of their mind that confined, they would have noticed I had drifted carefully and peacefully out of my body.

“As one moves into those spaces the boundary between inside and outside events dissolves.”

~ from Other Worlds, Other Universes; Playing the Reality Game

I do have a memory, held deep within the childhood locked box in my mind, recalling keeping a suitcase packed in my closet. A closet space in a small hallway under the attic stairs which I was able to crawl into. I hid myself back behind my hanging clothes in a big empty space where our suitcases were stacked. I always brought in some blankets and pillows, my snoopy doll, and a few other stuff animals. I would sit and pack and repack my small light green suitcase filled with clothes preparing to go to a place I desired to travel too. I needed to know if in waking I could control my travels to that beautiful gray space I visited naturally each day, or to those amazing and familiar places I found myself existing in each night. In my closet I created a map — a pencil and pen drawing of a beat up crooked odd shape I considered the whole wide world. I drew the map as if I could recreate these realms and shape them into a state or country. I was a child that knew nothing except what I saw, felt, heard, and visited within my dreams. This map I created, which I kept folded up in my suitcase, was what I thought to be the many worlds that existed in my dreamtime.

During the gray areas I would find myself drifting off to, I practiced trying to travel past the physical present and enter back into the realms in which my dreams existed. I easily found that my soul would try and drift to those dream time realms as my physical self would remain moving forward continuing on wherever it was already doing at that moment. I was present in body but not in spirit. Sitting in the stale Catholic school classroom with my hands folded, we were asked to remain seated on the uncomfortable hard upright chairs as many sat quietly inside of me I tried not to squirm or jump out of my seat screaming. Listening only to the clock ticking away– tick tock tick tock tick tock – the louder it became I realized I drifted a little farther away from the present moment within my physical body. My ears positioned to pretend to listen to everything being taught to me, however, as my body remained upright in a good student position my inner self simply began to drift off to the gray space in which it hid within my own existence. Over time I realized I felt so safe in this space because the spirits could not reach me in this space, I was protected here. For once in my life I found a physical hiding place where the chattering stopped, where quiet existed, where I could rest and seek at the same time. This was a safe space for me to just be, to just exist without anyone or anything. I spent hours on some days entering into my closet and just drifting off, feeling complete peace. I noticed the more relaxed I became the farther away I could see my spirit drift, and my body remained still. I recognized that a part of me was up above myself floating through the ceiling, as the other part of me, my physical body, would be lying on the floor snuggled in my blankets. The more this became familiar to me, when I decided this was such a wonderful feeling and fear was no longer an option to exist within, I found how easily it was to drift farther away— through my house, up to the roof, and eventually drifting above my house hovering around outside, eventually through the neighborhood, around the city, and suddenly I am floating up through the sky, all the while seeing myself down below resting quietly, peacefully. As days and nights passed I became more accustomed to this new lifestyle of detaching and reattaching my soul, only to remain connected to my physical body with an invisible cord I only felt as particles of energy. I loved drifting beyond the sun to a starry dark space that pictures show as our galaxy. Here, amongst the radiant energy and bright colors of white and darkness, I would drift along in space feeling at peace – still being able to look down at my house and view my physical Self sitting still. I enjoyed this type of travelling, I never wondered how I got there, how any of this worked, I just accepted that I could detach from my body and float.

As I grew older these Out of Body Experience (OBE’s), my gray space, became a natural part of my waking day. In school I would sit for hours within the corridors of the gray atmosphere, tuning out the babbling of my teachers, with only my physical body existing before their eyes they could not “see” I was not truly present. My gray area was my safe place, the place I could mentally free myself and float inward. I had become capable of naturally releasing my soul from my body anywhere at any time and float into this other realm in which this gray space resided. I always remained connected and aware that at any moment I would have to return when called upon, but I knew I was far enough away from any connection to the physical plane. After so many years of practice I realized this was the one place where I found serenity. Here, amongst the foggy air of muted silver, I am able to escape the chatter of everyone’s mind. Here, I managed to escape the random spirits that appeared out of nowhere creating buzzing noises in my ears trying to communicate with me without my permission. Here, within these walls of gray, I am able to escape and reside within the harmony of peace and quiet. This sensation of soul travelling would never last though, I always had to return. I was always yanked back to present waking reality by someone calling my name, or asking me a question, or arriving at my destination…. I return back to the present. With a tug of my tail, like a snap of a finger, I am pushed back into my body.. THUNK.

The problem of returning back to the present was that everyone mistaken me as a space cadet. The teachers always seemed annoyed with me when I would ignore their questions; and at my quick return back, after hearing my name called the third or fourth time, I would ramble an answer or try to hold a conversation that never seemed to make sense (soon for others to think my level of intelligence that was about as small as a pea). In my later years I realized that there is an adjustment period to returning back in one’s body. The senses that are so heightened as just pure soul traveling, were not the same senses that I needed to communicate with someone in my physical form. Words, images, and conversations that made sense in my gray space, I soon realized were a language not easily translated so quickly in waking form.

As I grew older I found myself being able to drift off to this spot when I was walking down the street or driving a car. However, I was never able to pin point when I left my body; I only knew the moments of leaving and the moments of returning. Sometimes I found myself arriving at my destination with no memory of my waking journey, only to come to understand I was being guided by a higher power within me, by my spirit guides who shielded and protected my body & mind as my spirit resided somewhere above. In my teenager years I was able to experience and test the waters of astral traveling, shared dreaming, out of body experiences (OBE) with other people, this is how I knew what I was doing was not a figment of my childhood imagination and that this exploration held so many truths.

As an adult I do not need to go to the gray space as often as I have other tools and outlets to escape the chatter of the physical and spirit world which surrounds me each moment of this existence. But when I do happen to go to that gray space, when I do forget about my dreams, the physical plane, and everything that surrounds me, I again find that inner peace of just floating in midair, here I embrace the silence, recharge, and reconnect with all aspects of myself.

Just how extensively should you prepare for your OBE’s and night time travels? For some people dreaming comes naturally, drifting through the realms beyond the physical plane, between dimensions that many are unaware actually exist parallel to our waking lives. While for others OBE’s are their natural ability to “see” beyond the visible and travel to other realms in waking. The best way to prepare is to create a calm comfortable space sometime during your hours of waking; light candles, incense, play soft meditation or light sound music, set an intention about what it is you would like to do (or discover within your dream state), get settled in and relax all of yourself – body, mind, soul – and create a meditative place for your mind. Just let yourself drift with your eyes closed, let go of the monkey mind chatter and let your spirit drift off, flow with where you go and what you hear….. Use all your senses to feel through where you are going. When you return back write down everything you can recall – keep notes. Continue to practice this for at least 10 minutes a day until you feel how natural your body, mind, and soul can reach a meditative peaceful state. There are many great resources for OBE’s and astral projection. Once you see, believe, and know you are capable of out of body experiences, you will become more aware of your night time astral travel experiences happening in your dreamtime. Also check out this link with more information on techniques to astral travel / OBE’s

Suggested Readings: These are just a few you can find a wealth of information on the internet.

Other Worlds Other Universe edited by Brad Steiger

Out-of-Body Experiences: How to Have Them and What to Expect by Robert Peterson

Journey’s Out of Body by Robert Monroe

Dream Yoga: Consciousness, Astral Projection, and the Transformation of the Dream State by Samuel Aun Weor

Soul Traveler: A Guide to Out-of-Body Experiences and the Wonders Beyond by Albert Taylor

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