my death

I have been feeling through a dream I had a week ago. Since this dream, I have seen changes taking place within my self and within my waking life. But I wonder, is this a dream of my death? Or is this a dream about my ascent?

I was standing in line, floating in the dull golden colored clouds; misty and foggy yet I could see clearly. Everything was illuminated, but the color felt dull and drowned out in the back ground. One woman was just called to go forward; there were now two women in front of me in line. I observed the woman walk into the mist and disappear. The one who called her; I could barely make out, just fingers in the air requesting her to follow – a light shadow figure outline in my view.

I looked at the other two women ahead of me. I felt calm as we all smiled at each other. I looked away and focused my attention around me. I noticed a wall of dull golden mist was walling me in. “This is my death.” I said to myself. “I am waiting to be called to die.”

My mind slowing turned from calm to anxiety.  “So this is it. I wonder what will happen when I am called. I am third in line. I am watching others being called to their own death.” Panic began to set it. “Will it be dark? Will I be right about the afterlife? Are we just souls going back home? Or will blackness set in for eternity?” I sat down and began to shake.

“NO!” a voice called out inside my mind. “No calm down.” It was my Self speaking to myself. “Think of something beautiful. Think of what is beautiful to you. Think of those you love or a place you used to love to visit. Go there. Be calm. Find peace in what you find beautiful.” I felt a little more calm. My anxiety slowly began to drift out of me. I found my beautiful place within my mind’s eye and I relaxed a little more.

The scenery suddenly changed and I found myself floating. I heard a name being called, “Come hither!” It said. I looked over and watched the next woman walk towards the fingers, the shadow.

I smiled. I am ok. I am ok. All will be OK. A misty dull golden wall engulfed me and I did not feel bothered by my invisibility. I found I was able to see much more beauty then the mist revealed to me. I will be called next.

I heard my name. I slowly stood up.

I am leaving. I am leaving the darkness. “Aren’t I leaving my darkness now? Is this my ascent?” My steps seemed small and slow. I did not dare look behind me.The fingers of the shadowed soul grew nearer as I kept stepping forward. I felt so light and free. So close to my ascent.

I woke up.